Firstly, this is all new, and new can feel weird, odd, scary. New can also feel amazing, fabulous and exciting. That is the strange wonderful thing about becoming a parent, we can experience all this on both ends, moment to moment. It’s normal for it to take some time to adjust, it is also normal to feel some worry, nervousness and anxiety day to day. The key is to pace yourself, be honest with yourself and your loved ones and give yourself some grace!
We are bombarded as parents from the moment of conception with experts and opinions of how to be the best parent, what we need to buy, how to act, what to attend, what to believe. What we need to avoid, take away and manage to be the optimal parent. Being a parent is not a race, we don’t get a badge for making it first and contrary to often portrayed, it is not a competition.
There is no such thing as a perfect parent, we cannot and do not need to get it right all the time. In fact, it is well documented that as children grow, they must see that their parents don’t always get it right. It gives them permission as children to make mistakes, essential when learning new things.
Anxiety feels different to each individual. We can feel overwhelmed, a sense of mild panic brewing. It can be felt in our chest, or throughout our bodies. We can feel out of control, unable to make decisions, unable to relax or concentrate on tasks. Often, we feel like we cannot be present, that we spend time forecasting the future in the hope of reducing our anxiety.
Anxiety and depression is not a black and white thing, it runs along a spectrum. We can all feel anxious sometimes, but if it’s prolonged and intense then speaking to a professional for support can help. You need not do this alone.
They can include:
The NHS has a mood screening tool that you can use to help you identify your moods.
Finally, we all need support sometimes, talking to someone who isn’t a friend or connected to your circle can be an empowering and freeing experience. To be able to talk freely without the worry of upsetting or saying the ‘wrong thing’ We spend time looking at what is troubling you. So often the actual act of saying it aloud and hearing it, reduces the fear and anxiety.
More advanced symptoms can include:
Finding joy and happiness in your parenting journey can be a day to day navigation. It is normal for it to be hard sometimes, and it can take time to adjust. Often, we have times that we feel a sense of grief at our old life, this is normal too. Please do not struggle alone in isolation, share with people your trust, you will probably find that they have had similar struggles too!
If you would like to talk with a therapist, please feel free to call me in the strictest confidence to see how I can support you. I believe that we are all capable of living a life that is fulfilling, nourishing and content. This takes time, effort and attention. But the effort is worth it, you are worth it!
We are all worthy of time to reflect, time to rest, time to connect with what our needs are.
T 07939 101 645
You might be interested in our Centred Sundays to give you some headspace if you are struggling
Join my FREE Diastasis Recti Recovery Masterclass and learn how to use your body to better to improve your core function.
Join me on Thursday 14th October at 8pm.